


There You'll Be (Everywhere I Am)

by misura



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dreams, F/M, That's Not How The Force Works, The Force Ships It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 10:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20095696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: When Luke tries to bury himself on Ahch-To, the Force decides to play match-maker.





	There You'll Be (Everywhere I Am)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yujacheong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yujacheong/gifts).

> extra contents warning: both Leia and Luke have a dream in which the other one has died.

He walks into the base slowly, the cowl of the cape hiding his face - not that he expects anyone to know it, to recognize him as Luke Skywalker, hero of the Rebellion. Jedi.

The Force tells him where to find Leia, like the Force has always told him everything about Leia: when she's sad, when she's happy, when she and Han fought, when she and Han made up. Even on Ahch-To, especially on Ahch-To, with nothing else to distract him, Leia never seemed to be all that far away.

Cutting himself off from the Force fixed all that.

And maybe it was a bit drastic, and a bit rude, like walking away in the middle of a conversation with the person you love more than anything in the Galaxy, but (Luke told himself at the time) it was _necessary_.

Like it was necessary to come back here now. Luke knows it's not going to be easy, but he also knows that it's now or never. If Leia dies, if Luke sits by and lets that happen, it's going to be all over.

She'll haunt him for the rest of his life. It'll be him and her, on Ahch-To. Forever. Together, and not.

"Luke." She looks up when he enters and reveals his face. Hers lights up, as if she still believes that one man can fix everything. Then the light fades. "What do _you_ want?" She sounds fond and tired and old and like she'd start smiling again if only he can find the right thing to say right here, right now.

"Missed you, too," he says, and then she's in his arms, hugging him, and if he wants more than a hug, that's neither here nor there nor the least bit important in this moment.

And then he opens his eyes and wakes up.

"That was a dirty trick."

Talking to the Force is both better and worse than talking to the care-takers. It's better because the Force doesn't talk back. It's also worse, because the Force doesn't talk back. It's one of those things.

Still, Luke knows which of the two options the care-takers prefer, at least, so talking to the Force it is. The Force doesn't mind. The Force doesn't care. The Force connects all living things and more than a few dead ones, and it doesn't care any more about Luke or Leia than it does about Kylo Ren or Snoke. Are you alive? Awesome, then the Force will connect you to everything else sharing that condition.

The Force doesn't judge. You want to have sex with your sister? The Force is down with that.

"I mean it. Even for you, that was dirty."

You want to stop being connected to everything, to stop feeling how much your sister is hurt because the man she chose to marry (the man who's not you, the man you love as a brother) has left her? Easy. Cut yourself off from the Force, and it's done.

Luke doesn't regret anything. He's happy here. He loves his life, far away from the Resistance and the First Order and all that. It's not his fight, not anymore.

But. Leia's still his sister. He dreams about her. He thinks about her. He's only human.

"Talking to yourself again, you are," the Force says. (The Force looks a lot like Master Yoda.) "Not a good sign, that is. To help her, you want. To join her, hm?"

"I think I've done enough," Luke says.

The Force harrumphs. (The Force really does like to play dirty.) "Happy, are you? Satisfied with your accomplishments?"

"I can't help her."

The Force makes itself a bit more comfortable. "Tried, have you?"

"I can't help her," Luke repeats. "Last time I tried to help, I created Kylo Ren. This time - well, there's not going to be a 'this time'. Leia's fine. She doesn't need me."

"Always the wrong questions, you are asking," the Force says. "Need you, she may not. Want you - well, not for me to reveal, that is."

"I'm not going to ask her about that," Luke says. "I'm not an idiot. I'm her brother. Her oldest friend."

"A great good, safety is." The Force nods. "Stay here and be safe, you should."

"I'm not twelve, you know," Luke says. "I'm not going to do something just to prove I'm not afraid."

The Force keeps silent.

Luke gets up. "I haven't got time to sit around and chat. Bye."

He walks into the base. People have been expecting him. People know who he is.

A few of them look happy to see him. Relieved. Most look too crushed by grief to respond to him at all. Some look like they're blaming him for what has happened, like they're wondering why he's come here at all, now that all hope is gone already.

"You're Skywalker?" someone asks. If Luke had been connected to the Force, he might have known his name, his connection to Leia. "You're late."

"I had a long way to go," Luke says.

"I'm sure you did, buddy. And you know what, why don't you go right back the way you came? We don't need you. _She_ doesn't need you."

"She can tell me that herself," Luke says. "Captain ... ?"

It should not be possible for a regular person to slam a Jedi up against a wall.

"She's _gone_. I'm in charge now, and I say we don't need you."

Luke opens his eyes.

Talking to the care-takers is both better and worse than talking to the Force. It's better because they don't talk back to him or argue. It's worse because they don't talk back to him or argue. It's one of those things.

Lifting the X-wing is, at least, a simple operation. Cleaning it up and getting it in working condition again is something else.

The care-takers chatter at each other. If they're impressed at having seen Luke raise it from the ocean, they're hiding it very well. If they're at all concerned about what Luke plans on doing with it, they're not showing a thing.

Luke suspects they're going to be glad when he's gone. They're here for the buildings, not for the tourists. The story of his life: stick around until the people around you get to the point where they're really happy for you to go away - or too dead to care.

"Any idea how long it's going to take?" he asks one of the care-takers, gesturing at the X-wing.

She chatters at some of the others, who chatter back, then raises three fingers.

"All right. Great. Thanks," Luke says. "Keep up the good work."

*

She's reading a report on their fuel situation when he walks in, looking old and tired and sad right until the moment he sees her. His face lights up, then, his mouth twisting in what almost looks like a smile.

"Luke."

He opens his arms. "Leia." She steps into them, feeling the solid warmth of his body, allowing herself to enjoy this, to live only in the here and now for just a moment. Luke is here: everything else can wait.

Except that it can't, of course. Not even for five minutes. "You came back." Leia steps back. "Now? Do you know how much time and resources we spent on trying to find you? Really, Luke."

"I made a mistake," Luke says. "I'm sorry."

"I had a speech," Leia says. "A good one, about how you had to come back because we need you."

Luke smiles. "You don't need anyone. You never did."

Leia snorts. "Shows what you know. But enough about that. You're here. Good. Get some rest, and we'll put you to work."

"I missed you," Luke says.

Leia tells herself she can't afford to get sentimental. Han's gone. That doesn't mean Luke has suddenly stopped being her brother, her friend and a great asset to the Resistance. To risk driving him away again would be unconscionable, foolish and selfish.

"Go," she orders him. "We'll talk later."

She doesn't allow herself to smile until he's turned his back on her.

She's still smiling when she wakes up.

"You and Uncle Luke? Let me be the first to say: gross!"

Leia doesn't think it's a good sign when people start hearing voices. It used to be Luke's voice, Luke's thoughts, Luke's feelings. She always knew it wasn't really Luke, of course. Still, it was a nice fantasy.

She'd see him in a Jedi temple, meditating, thinking about her.

She'd picture him sitting by the fire, reading, trying to focus on a dry text on philosophy, his mind wandering, wishing he had someone to talk to.

As long as she had Luke, things didn't seem so bad. When she and Han argued, Luke would be there to make her feel better, to take her in his arms and hold her in Han's stead. When people died, good people, who deserved better, she'd remind herself that Luke was still out there, that one day he'd come back and that together, they'd put everything right again.

"General?" Poe asks. "Everything all right?"

"Fine." Leia works up a smile. "Any news about Luke?"

Poe looks disgruntled. He reminds her of Luke, a little, when they were younger. Poe wants things quick, and simple, and clean-cut. He wants to be her hero, not quite realizing that Leia has by now realized that friends are much more valuable than heroes. "Sorry. We'll keep looking."

"Yes, we will. Meanwhile, I've got something else I need you to take care of for me."

Poe grins. He's easily pleased, is Poe. Young. Leia was young, too, once.

"Ignoring me again, Mom? Real mature. Real responsible."

She's reading a report on their fuel situation when he walks in. It's not really him, of course.

"Luke," she says.

"I'm sorry." He seems too real, too solid. "I tried."

"Tried to do what? Be a hero?" Leia feels angry. She feels sad. She feels like everyone in her life keeps leaving her, no matter what she does. "I didn't want you to come here so you could be a hero."

"I created him. I had to face him. One last time."

"What about me?" Anger is easier than grief. The Jedi probably have something to say about that, but Leia doesn't care. She's not a Jedi. She doesn't owe the Force anything other than a kick in the teeth for giving power to people like Snoke and letting Luke get himself killed. "You didn't think maybe I wanted you to live? You didn't think maybe what you meant to me was more important than your ego?"

"I failed you," Luke says. "I failed your son. I failed Han."

"You failed me by dying." Leia hates crying. It makes her nose run and her eyes itch. "You didn't fail Ben. Or Han. I miss them, but what happened to them wasn't your fault, Luke. What happened to you was. You did that."

"I'm sorry," Luke repeats.

"Being sorry isn't going to fix anything," Leia snaps. "Being sorry isn't going to bring you back to life."

"Leia." Luke's arms around her make it hard to stay angry with him. "Please. Forgive me."

"For dying? Never." Leia wonders if he'll keep visiting like this, if maybe he's only going to move on when she accepts his apology. It would be wrong, she thinks, to keep his ghost tied to her like that. She loves him, after all. She should be generous, and kind.

"For this," Luke says, and kisses her.

It's not a great kiss. He's a ghost, and not entirely real, not wholly substantial. He's Luke, though. That's something.

"I never - it never felt like the right moment." Luke looks a bit sheepish. "And you were my sister. My friend. To risk all that - it just didn't seem worth it."

"You are an idiot," Leia says.

She's still scowling when she wakes up.

Poe looks surprised. "Call off the search? Are you sure?"

"Do I look like I'm not sure?" Leia scowls at him. She's been doing a lot of that this morning, in spite of her best efforts not to take her annoyance with Luke out on other people. "We need the resources for other things. Things that will actually be useful."

"Yes, General." Poe's expression indicates he's got about a hundred questions. "As you say, General."

Leia sighs. Poe needs guidance, experience. Keeping him in the dark isn't going to help him become the person the Resistance needs him to become. "He'll come to us. When he's ready."

"Yes, General." Poe's tone suggests he doesn't think much of Luke and his need to 'get ready'. "So when's that going to be, do you think? Soon?"

"Very soon. If he knows what's good for him."

Poe grins.

Leia shakes her head and goes back to work.


End file.
